Process journal Day 1

May be edited throughout the day.

I chose to do Level Three today to kick off the journey! (edit: start with level three this morning with levels one and two to follow)

Yeah, that is a fair representation of my day. During those 10 hours at work I do email and FB and do other internet stuff while I am recording calls or monitoring, different stuff like that. Which makes my internet time around 11 to 12 hours a day. Time eating and time spent with family is also spent doing other stuff such as eating while cleaning the kitchen or doing laundry.

Will revisit at lunch time. :)

Its lunch time, sort of.  Now for my pie chart the way I WANT it to be. Muahahaha

More in a bit!

Day 1 Level 1 (7/14/10)


1.) I am currently a mess. I do not exercise as I should. I walk to OR from work most days and only twice a week do I do both. I have been taking all of my vitamins and prescriptions for more than a week and I have gone back on weight watchers. I am encouraged that I have lost 1.5 pound sin the last week. I am also going back to Dr. Hipalito whom I loved 10 years ago. He brought his practice back to sheffeild YAY!

2.) I believe my body is telling me things, when my stomach is upset, when I get headaches, when my chest hurts, and I feel I have been so out of touch with my own body that I can not read what it is saying.

• I want to reconnect with my body

• I want to start an exercise program I can do beyond 28 days

• I want to clear old junk from my mind and replace it with kind and loving thoughs about myself

• I want to control my life

• I want to find balance in all areas of my life

o Personal

o Friendships

o Work

o Home

o Physical

o Mental

o spiritual

• I want to get into better eating habits

o Become more conscious of what I eat

o When I eat

o What I eat

If I were to do the things above I would feel healthier, look healthier, feel like my life were responding to ME instead of me responding to my life.

3.) If I don’t do this now, today, start this minute… I never will. I will gain more weight, I will have lower self esteem, I will watch my life pass me by and I will regret every day that I sat here not improving myself, my situations, and those around me. And, if I don’t, my children wont have had a parent who did take control and learned to live… or taught them how.



Day 1 Level 2

Head: aches behind eyes and one side at a time. Ears ring and must have white noise constantly to drown out the *whoop whoop*

Neck: fine

Shoulders: occassionally tight

Arms: good

Hands: arthritic

Chest: has huge boulders on it a few times a week

Breasts: not to bad!

Tummy: bloated, prone to nasuea and other bad stuff

Hips: strong!

Legs: restless, crampy

Ankles: weak

Feet: MUCH BETTER now that I am taking care of them!

Taking iron alone has increased my blood count dramatically which in turn increases my wakeful alert feelings. I do need to lose weight and get my body moving because I am out of breath going to my own bathroom. My goal is to be able to climb the stairs at work, all flights, without being winded or stressed and to feel like I can jump off the roof without fear of what I look like. Which means I also need to be limber enough to lift my legs up over the edge of the roof.

Day 1 Level 3

Questions:

1.) I would rather be independantly weathly rather than work, but since I don’t have a rich family member and I don’t play the lottery I would like to find joy in my job again. Not so long ago it was an awesome job and I was happy doing it. I know it is a stepping stone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy THIS step too.

2.) I need to balance myself, let go of umimportant things and believe in myself in order for daily personal tasks and self care tasks to actually have THAT PERCENTAGE in my day. Daily personal tasks would include normal stuff (bathing, etc) and exercising, meditating things of that nature. Self care would be finding a hobby to relax me, setting boundries that are acceptable to ME and that care for my well being, doing things like this program.

3.) My self image.

4.) I will do it. I am starting NOW by using this program as a jump start!

Second set of questions

1.) I feel fat, scarred and that my body barely functions.

2.) I hate my stomach and I resent celulite!

3.) I like my breasts for the most part.  I love my colar bones.

4.) My body is still working even though I abused it horribly for 38 years.

5.) Exercise, eatting well, taking care.

6.) That I tend to be lazy but not TOO lazy.

7.) Shit or get off the pot

8.) I have no idea. My self image clouds everything else

9.) I think co-workers see me as less intelligent because I haven’t taken care of myself and I haven’t had pride in my appearance. My mother thinks I am stupid. My kids … I don’t know.

10.) My body does NOT express who I really am. I am actually a healthy, active, acctractive, energetic and beautiful woman.

11.) Absolutely. SO I screwed up. I need to forgive myself for letting go and say ok, I let go, I am hanging on and fixing this now.

12.) My most important goals are to feel better and be able to move freely. Procrastination and self esteem have kept me from doing those in the past.

13.) I will no longer allow things like those to interfere with what I want for my body in this life.

14.) If I don’t reach these goals, or don’t actively work on them I will have a very poor quality of life.

15.) I am commited to achieving these goals and more. Because I see a glimmer of someone I really like in the mirror lately and I want to see the full monty in the mirror and grin.

I am going to drink my SQUIRT on the porch now with my Johanna Lindsey book! My reward!