Has to deal

There is such a long story behind this morning (and it is only 8am) that I just don't want to recant it right now. Suffice it to say, as parents we are fucking up our children.

Have you ever asked your kid to ask your spouse a question and when the kid comes back you get the answer and yell at the kid? OR you ask the kid to ask the spouse and the spouse yells at the kid for asking? Talk about a lose lose situation for the kid!

This morning, clear as day, I realized how often me, my friends, and most people I know DO THIS. Under the age of 14 if we tell our kids to do something, they might grumble, but generally comply. And they get yelled at or can't complete the task because of a third party. (Not all tasks, but in my house A LOT of them I am realizing.)  By the time they are 14 they are mouthing back and saying no. Well no frikkin wonder. We are on edge and we put the kids on edge because they have to respond to us in what ever state WE ARE IN.

This all sounds very vague doesn't it.

But think about this.

You walk into the house after a hot grueling day away from it. You have worked, or had to run errands. You are made at your spouse, friend or older child. You are done with the day.

And the kitchen... is a mess.

You start screaming *I was doing XXX all day and I have to come home to THIS SHIT? Are you kidding? Youngest and middle child get your ASSES out here and TAKE CARE of this SHIT NOW*

You justify it because they ate there that day. They should have already put thier plates in the dishwasher and mopped the floor... because they messed it.

But the real thing (for MY house is) that Daddy sat home or helped his brother all day and the kids just got the full blast of anger because shit piled up in my head before I even saw them, and I did not feel supported by my spouse when I got in.

This morning I asked Cailynn to ask her father why her brother put his cousins muddy popped tire into the trunk of my car. Clarence screamed at Cailynn "I don't FUCKING KNOW, because they didn't put it in TOMMY'S car, what the fuck is it to you?" She came out of the house and mumbled "Because they didn't put it in Tommy's car." started to cry and refused to speak to me.

Because him yelling at her.... was my fault.

Consequently... I hate him today because of it.

And because of all of the things i just realized about child rearing.

I can't change the past, but dear God and Goddess, let me keep this lesson with me through my days left on earth. And let me always act accordingly.

Catch ya on the Flip side.